


Roommates

by bazypitchandsimonsnow (ChessPargeter)



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Domestic, Don't piss off Penny, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 07:31:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10612173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChessPargeter/pseuds/bazypitchandsimonsnow
Summary: Penny has to do a project with a girl from her class.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this to avoid homework. Hope you enjoy :)

**Penelope**

“Wow your apartment building looks nice,” she says, surprisingly without a hint of sarcasm.

“Heh, you won't say that once you’re inside.”

Tania and I walk towards to the entrance.  I swear to Merlin she’s almost skipping.  She is one puffy pink gown and belting ballad away from Disney princess status

I shouldn't be so mean to Tania, just because she's nice. She's much nicer than me. I hope that she does work just as well as she smiles. I asked to do this project alone, but my professor said I need to work on my “people skills” so therefore I need a partner.

People skills, ugh. I have plenty of _other_ skills. I'm a mage, and I'm brilliant. And I have two and a half friends! Isn’t that enough?

We walk up the stairs. Tania is chewing her lip nervously.

“I’m still sorry about the library. Didn’t realise it would be closed today,” she says with her eyes downcast.

“It’s fine. We can work wherever.”

The silence resumes. I don’t know how to talk to her, and she doesn't know how to talk to me. It’s a classic awkwardness stand off.

“So how long have you lived here?” She asks in that very sweet voice. Looks like she’s decided to be the tension breaker.

“A couple years, since I started uni,” I reply flatly.

“Oh nice. Probably better than living on campus. There's no peace there, let me tell you.”

“There's only a bit of peace here, believe me. My roommate always has the telly turned up too loud. That’s just the start.”

“You have a flatmate?”

“Yeah. He won't be a bother though. He told me he's got a lot of work to do.”

“What's he studying?”

“English, currently. Then teaching after, I think. He tends to change plans on a whim.”

We reach my apartment door. I fumble with keys.

“Heh, he sounds fun.”

“Oh he is. Love him to bits. He can just be-”

The door swings open with a bang. The noise is enough to shock Simon...and Baz. Who is laying on the couch. Under Simon. Both are shirtless. Simon's hand is dangerously close to the waistband of Baz’s jeans, and Baz’s fingers are deeply entangled in Simon's hair. Both look like two mussed up deers caught in the headlights.

“SIMON! BAZ!” I shriek, instinctively covering my eyes. Tania quickly does the same, her face bright red from embarrassment.

“You weren't supposed to be home till late!” Simon shouts. I can hear rustling as (I assume) both idiots disentangle themselves and put their shirts back on.

“Aleister Crowley, Si, that doesn't mean you two can snog on our couch!”

“That’s never stopped us before” Baz mumbles.

“Baz,” Simon scolds, but I can pretty much hear his own damn smirk.

“Fuck you both,” I say sharply. “Your room is no more than 6 meters away, for Merlin's sake!”

“Couch was closer after we finished dinner,” Simon says innocently. “You can open your eyes now, Pen. We're both decent.”

I lower my hand. Tania slowly does the same, but looks down at the floor intensely. Both young men are sitting on the couch but (thankfully) with their shirts on. Though they still have messy hair and swollen lips, and Baz has fucking bruises down his neck. Simon smiles sheepishly. Thankfully his wings and tall are still spelled invisible. Baz is smirking because he's rarely ever not smirking.

“Sorry Penny,” Simon chuckles out. He looks at Tania. “And Penny’s friend.”

He turns to Baz and furrows his brow. Baz looks at him just confused. Simon kicks his foot, just hard enough to hurt but not enough to injure. Baz winces then turns to me.

“Apologies, Bunce. And Bunce’s friend.”

“I thought you were going to the library,” Simon interjects.

“Library was closed. I thought you had, what were your exact words? ‘Piles of homework’?”

“Well I do. I was just...putting it off, I guess.”

“We both take great pleasure in procrastination.” Baz is smirking again. I roll my eyes.

“Both of you, either go to Baz’s place or just do something out of here for awhile because Tania and I need to work.”

“It's my flat too, Penny,” Simon huffs.

“Not right now, it isn't. We have a project and that means no distractions, least of all from you two! And right now, you owe me, after subjecting Tania and I to that scarring experience.”

Simon huffs again, blowing some of his curls away from his forehead. “Fine.”

They both stand and walk briskly to the coat rack. Simon is scowling at me as he puts on his coat. Baz looks mostly neutral, but I can tell he's more than a bit annoyed.

As they leave, Simon sticks out his hand to Tania.

“Sorry we had to meet like this. For the record, I'm Simon Snow. Have fun with your project. Don't let Penny boss you around too much.” I glare at him. He winks at me.

Tania cautiously shakes his hand. Baz offers his hand as well.

“Baz, as you heard. Snow is right, don't let Bunce tell you what to do. I never listen and it's quite fun.” I glare even harder. I catch the small smirk he throws at me.

Tania shakes with him too. We watch as they walk out the doors. Simon takes Baz’s hand, but not before Baz lightly swats his ear.

“You said she would be out all night, you twit!” he hisses.

“That's what she told me! How could you not hear them coming with your super hearing?”

Their voices fade as they go down the hall.

“We were both more than a bit distracted. Crowley, that was mortifying! The last thing I want is to be caught half naked in front of Bunce.”

“Well I'm sorry! Now, can we go get food? I'm hungry.”

“We just ate!”

“I'm hungry again.”

“Merlin and Morgana, Snow, if I didn't love you so much I'd push you down the bloody stairs.”

“You already did!”

“That was years ago! And I told you it was an accident!”

I roll my eyes as I close the door. I sigh deeply and rub the bridge of my nose. Tania is fiddling with her jacket sleeve.

“So sorry about that,” I mutter.

“So that Simon bloke is your flatmate?”

“Yup.”

“And Baz is his boyfriend?”

“Right again.”

“Wow. Feels like my dorm”

I turn to her and cock an eyebrow. “Really?

“The girl I room with, Layla, she’s gay too. She's got a girlfriend, who's nice enough. But they're never not snogging. And the couch, which is in the middle of bloody everything, is their favourite spot.”

I chuckle. “Oh that must be a pain.”

“It most certainly is. I've taken to using a spray bottle when they won't listen.”

I full on laugh this time “I'll keep that in mind for the future.”

I shrug off my jacket. I offer my hand to take Tania’s too. She complies.

“Now, let's get some work done. I want to do well on this project.”

Tania smiles. “As do I. Should we work in here or...?”

We look at the couch, and both shudder. But then we laugh.

“Let's just go to my room.”

“Right idea there.”

Maybe having _three_ and a half friends wouldn't be so bad.

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, bonding over your horny gay roommates. Best way to make friends.


End file.
